Aimee Horton

When the wee in the soft play belongs to you…

Mar
13

…well not you but your toddler.  After football last week Theo and I went on a few slides and bombed round the soft play, great Theo and Mummy time, especially now I’ve overcome my fear of putting my foot into a pool of wee in the ball pool (urgh), I even succumbed to the puppy dog eyes and paid for him to go on the quad bikes (well he deserved a treat, he whooped ass at football leaving all the other toddlers behind #pushymummy).

Anyway, it was time to get home (Theo still wasn’t 100% and Matt obviously had Man Flu at this point), Theo didn’t want to go, so I left in him the toddler area near the soft slide and stairs to go and buy chocolate buttons – not that I use bribes, it was totally a coincidence that I happened to decide to buy them and offer them to Theo in time to suggest it was time to go for the 5th time and promise to open them once he’s in the car seat *cough*.  Anyway, by the time I got back from the café there was a panicked looking Theodore sitting in a tunnel next to the slide, next to where I left him.  I also discovered (as I put my foot in it – arse) a pool of wee.  We’d had our first public accident..what did I do? Scoop Theo up, warn a couple of parents as they headed towards the tunnel “I wouldn’t go there, somebody has left their kids wee there– tsk”, head to the café, tell them “there’s some wee in the tunnel by the slide…ok BYYEEEEEEE” legged it to the loos did a swift change of clothes for the boy and legged it to the car.  *cough* perhaps not my finest hour.  But, on the bright side, I didn’t need to bribe Theo, he totally got in the car because I’m the Mummy and I’m in control.  Totally.

Larry is such a traitor.  I do believe they’re working together to make our weekends together a “special and happy time” (code for, bloody nightmare).  We went shopping yesterday, we needed holiday clothes and a few bits so we took a nice family trip into town, and were going to stop off for an early tea too so we could all eat together.  Larry needed his 3pm bottle so we went to Costa in Waterstones and while I fed Larry with a Mocha peacefully Theo and Matt went and looked at the books. – Matt wouldn’t buy a full round in Costa, it would give him a heart attack.  So happily 4oz into his bottle Larry starts doing his “pooh face”.  This is still a bit of a surprise to me that he needs to do a “pooh face” as it is basically liquid, at the most a sort of curry paste…including the seeds and everything (I never thought I’d discuss pooh in such detail).  Anyway, I discovered the changing room was up on the next floor (convenient), left my coffee, packed up the pram with coats and bags and headed up there, expecting maybe a little “stainage” but hopefully not too much.

When I lay Larry down it was a totally different ball game.  It made it to his socks before I even undid him…when I unpopped the dungarees and lifted his sticky legs up I realised it had gone all the way up to his neck.  We ended up having an impromptu bath and wipe down in the skanky sink of the ladies toilets while women came in and out all looking slightly disapproving (I obviously looked like a tramp at this point – even if I do have a Bugaboo thankyouverymuch)…although I’m sure it may also have been the fact that I had a yellow baby pooh smelling footprint on my right boob where he’d kicked me when I was undressing him.

We didn’t end up buying anything in the end either.

x

 

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