I was going to write a massive ranting post tonight. Matthew is at the gym, I have a gin and slim, I’m catching up on today’s Jeremy Vine debate on c-sections, and my timeline on Facebook is full of people telling me (without realising it) how stupid/lazy/vain I am for making the birthing decision I did. As I mentioned on twitter earlier, the “too posh to push” bandwagon has been well and truly jumped on, and amazingly other reasons aren’t taken into account. Just that c-sections are a walk in the park, just a quick zip in and out with a manicure and facial before being presented with my sons.*
*DISCLAIMER – I’m making light of a subject which I’m slightly sensitive about and don’t want to enter into a debate when so many people don’t know the facts just what they think. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, just research it more slightly please.
But. Instead of going in to all that, I’ve opted to focus on the parenting secrets that actually probably make me a worse mum then the above (shock horror).
As I’ve said before, I sometimes lean towards the side of parenting which makes me feel like a selfish mum. Not totally awful (you know, sometimes I will share my food and not go shopping to do stuff that they want to do), however when I look at some super parents, you know the ones, who will do anything for their kids, I feel bad. Especially about the following 5 things.
1. Larry has a portable DVD player in his bedroom. He’s only allowed milk from 6.30am. Often, if it’s before 7am (maybe later at the weekend). We MAY leave him in his cot with his milk and back to back Peppa Pigs.
2. Sometimes. As I never wake Matt before 6am unless it’s a DISASTER, if at 5.30am I smell a pooey nappy. I leave it and act shocked when Matt goes in and changes it at 6.05am. (After I’ve kicked him)
3. I can’t colour in with Theo. In fact, all drawing and colouring is off limits. HE JUST CAN’T GET IT IN THE LINES!
4. When Theo annoys me/has been naughty, I sometimes accidently on purpose get water in his eyes when I’m washing his hair. And I might enjoy it a little bit.
5. When I’m aware of something that makes my children cry which I think is mildly funny I sometimes film it and YouTube it.
2012 Winner of the X-Factor in the pop group “Mums2Beat”
I feel these are possibly my least incriminating. OH. And Uncle John. Can I refer you to this post so you still have time to return the guitar you think you’re giving The Beast for Christmas? Good.