When you realise you’re not always the best mummy.

I was going to write a massive ranting post tonight.  Matthew is at the gym, I have a gin and slim, I’m catching up on today’s Jeremy Vine debate on c-sections, and my timeline on Facebook is full of people telling me (without realising it) how stupid/lazy/vain I am for making the birthing decision I did.  As I mentioned on twitter earlier, the “too posh to push” bandwagon has been well and truly jumped on, and amazingly other reasons aren’t taken into account.  Just that c-sections are a walk in the park, just a quick zip in and out with a manicure and facial before being presented with my sons.*

*DISCLAIMER – I’m making light of a subject which I’m slightly sensitive about and don’t want to enter into a debate when so many people don’t know the facts just what they think.  Everyone is entitled to an opinion, just research it more slightly please.

But.  Instead of going in to all that, I’ve opted to focus on the parenting secrets that actually probably make me a worse mum then the above (shock horror).

As I’ve said before, I sometimes lean towards the side of parenting which makes me feel like a selfish mum.  Not totally awful (you know, sometimes I will share my food and not go shopping to do stuff that they want to do), however when I look at some super parents, you know the ones, who will do anything for their kids, I feel bad.  Especially about the following 5 things.

1. Larry has a portable DVD player in his bedroom.  He’s only allowed milk from 6.30am.  Often, if it’s before 7am (maybe later at the weekend).  We MAY leave him in his cot with his milk and back to back Peppa Pigs.

2. Sometimes.  As I never wake Matt before 6am unless it’s a DISASTER, if at 5.30am I smell a pooey nappy.  I leave it and act shocked when Matt goes in and changes it at 6.05am. (After I’ve kicked him)

3. I can’t colour in with Theo.  In fact, all drawing and colouring is off limits.  HE JUST CAN’T GET IT IN THE LINES!

4. When Theo annoys me/has been naughty, I sometimes accidently on purpose get water in his eyes when I’m washing his hair.  And I might enjoy it a little bit.

5. When I’m aware of something that makes my children cry which I think is mildly funny I sometimes film it and YouTube it.


2012 Winner of the X-Factor in the pop group “Mums2Beat”

I feel these are possibly my least incriminating.  OH. And Uncle John.  Can I refer you to this post so you still have time to return the guitar you think you’re giving The Beast for Christmas? Good.


  1. Rhiannon (@The_Last_Slayer)

    I don’t believe there are any perfect mummies out there. I don’t care what they say, we ALL have things we do that wouldn’t fit into the so-called perfect parenting manual. Some people are just in denial about that. And for what it’s worth, colouring outside the lines would really do my head in!!

  2. (Mostly) Yummy Mummy

    I am crying with laughter! That video is hilarious you terrible mummy you *snort*

    P.S. The colouring in bit? I totally get it. I have a similar thing over things that involve glitter. Or glue. Or paint. But that’s why we send them to nursery, right..?

  3. motherventing

    Mahahahahahhaahahah shampoo in the eyes? Mahahhahaha *phones social services* *changes mind* *resolves never to do same* *resolve broken* Mahahhahahaha oh my, you’re not a terrible mummy, just, er, normal, innit. Though I would NEVER do that to my child. Nope. Never. Ahem.

  4. Celia

    Haha so funny, you’ve certainly made me feel less mean as a mama!! I don’t allow any kind of creative art work in my house, we save it alllll for grandmas 🙂

  5. @somethingblue_2

    I don’t know why I haven’t read this post before, it is scaring me how similar we are! I also hate colouring with JW because I like it to be neat and in the lines . . . never going to happen with an 18 month old! OH bought me a portable DVD player for Christmas, I was worried that my first thought was “great, I can put JW’s Peppa Pig DVD on in the morning and have a few extra minutes in bed!” AND I laugh when something silly makes JW cry . . . I may even occasionally do it on purpose . . . but then feel guilty about it (as I laugh!) we’re like bad mummy twins! LOL xx

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