It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these posts, but I thought you’d like a special holiday addition!
Mortified – Breakfast
We’re at Stanstead airport. We’re waiting in the Wetherspoons for a couple of plates of toast for the monsters to keep them going before we get on the plane. It’s me and the boys, Matt is at the counter paying.
Fatso has been entertaining himself by trying to eat the food in the photos on the menu.
A full cooked breakfast is carried across the pub, Fatty clocks it. He looks excited, begins to clap his hands. He watches as it comes towards us, his face lights up. Then it’s placed down on the table just behind him. A smart businessman picks up his knife and fork and begins to tuck in.
Fatty bumbum begins to panic slightly…so he turns around in his chair and looks hard at the business man, unnerving him slightly, he then proceeds to shout (gradually getting louder) “TAHHH TAHHHHH TAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH TAHHHHHHHHHHH” until the poor guy finally gives in and begins to hand him a bit of toast. Luckily our toast arrives just in time to save the day.
Exaggeration – Fatdonalds.
We went to the zoo on holiday. It was ace. As part of the load of leaflets they gave us when we came in was a voucher for something free at the local McDonalds. Later in the holiday we ask The Beast what the logo was on the leaflet.
“That’s FatDonalds!!!! It’s the dinner time shop where we eat ALLLLLL our dinner up”.
IT IS NOT THE DINNER SHOP! WE DON’T GO THAT OFTEN!!!
Drop in – Shirtless
Walking down the “strip” where the bars, restaurants and shops are on the way to the beach. There is a rather large man walking towards us. The Beast looks at me and says rather loudly “look at that mans BIIIGGG Belly Mummy…perhaps he should put his shirt on to cover it up like you said the other man should”.
I only MENTIONED it would be nice while I was eating my dinner.
Drop in – Chav
“Mummy – what’s a chav? Why is the plane full of them?”.
I actually said “drunk chavs”.
I need to watch my mouth.