So. The school run is approximately 15 minutes give or take traffic and lights. Most days I get to listen to the banter of two five year olds discussing One Direction, mummification, assembly and school dinners, but one day a week it’s just me and Stinky Spider-Man. On these days I try and keep the conversation about school because he will never tell me what they do on a day to day basis and the lack of control kills me, however, he’s not as keen on that idea, so tends to use it as a time to fire questions at me. Here are fifteen of the questions I’ve had in the last week.
1. Why do we get scabs?
2. Why can’t we just be bones?
3. Why don’t skeletons bleed?
4. Why do girls have minnies?
5. Why does daddy have hair in his armpits?
6. Why do you cut yours?
7. Does that mean it will go away for ever?
8. Why do minnies get hair on them?
9. What happens if all the countries in the world didn’t exist?
10. What happens if I was the first person ever to be born in the whole wide world?
11. But who would I play with while I’m waiting for the second person to be born?
12. How long would it take?
13. Would it be Spider-Man?
14. Why don’t you go to school?
15. Why do I have to not talk again until we get home?
I can’t even remember my answers, I was too busy trying not to crash the car.
Put me out of my misery, reassure me I’m not the only one who is slowly going insane…What questions are your children prone to asking right now?