Aimee Horton

When you hear them everywhere.

May
01

“Mummy.”

A word I have heard a lot in the last five and a half years. There are lots of variations of course. “mumma” “Mumah” ‘Mummmeeeeee” “mum” “MAMMY” the list is endless, but it’s all got the same meaning. It’s me, the person they require 100% attention of and that’s how it’s been 24/7. It’s lovely, most of the time. Suffocating others, and over the last five years – especially since I’ve had two calling it – I hear it everywhere. Even when it’s not coming from my kids.

Five Things That Sound Like My Kids Are Shouting For Me.

1. Our shower head.

When I start climb in my relaxing shower, it’s very off putting to hear the words “mummy where are you” echoing about. Especially if I’ve locked the door. I have jumped out many a time, after hearing the frequent cries and raced to see what was the problem. They’re usually glazed in front of the TV, for once not noticing that I’ve gone.

2. In the supermarket – when I’m on my own.

I can’t help it. I hear a kid screaming, shouting at their mother, and I freeze. Hands on trolley, wondering whether to turn around and leg it, leaving my husband to deal with the tantrum. Then I realise that it’s just me, my list and my handbag, and I might feel a little bit smug.

3. The tune from the ’30 Day Shred’

Honestly – it sounds like the Chunky Monkey shouting “mummmyyyyyyyy…mummyyyyy…mummmmmyyyy.”

4. The Extractor Fan and the radio

Often when I’m cooking I like to have the radio on. When I’m in and out of the oven, I have the fan on, and I’m drinking a glass of wine (perhaps this is the problem?!) I have to stand up and back, and listen – thinking that somebody is calling for a biscuit. It’s usually Beyonce.

5. In my sleep.

Seriously – do they never leave me alone?

Not to mention car noises, the wind in the trees, the television…how about you? Or am I just going ker-ay-zee?

#passthegin

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