Aimee Horton

When you’re part of the Bad Mums Club – I can hear myself.

May
05

Remember when I said I was beginning to sound like my mother? Yeah, I thought it was bad when I was merging into my own mother (it’s not good that we both go to M&S and pick up the same clothes is it?), but it’s just got a whole lot worse…because now my boys are beginning to repeat things I say, and it’s not always good.

I’m not saying it’s always bad. Teaching a 3-year-old to say things like “Norman Bagoram” and “Blimey-oh-riley” can be pretty amusing. Along with sending him and the 5-year-old to tell Daddy to “get your lazy bum to the fridge and help make mummy some well earned gin.” All perfectly enjoyable stages of them growing up.

Do not report me to social services, it’s not like I ask them to cut the lime or anything – I pre-cut those.

But it’s other stuff that isn’t quite so good. It started off few and far between “Mummy – what’s your problem?” and “Inaminit mummy” and the odd play discipline “I’m going to count to three, and if you don’t eat your dinner you’re going to go in the hall for three minutes…ONE…TWO…TWO AND A HALF…”, but has progressed rather swiftly.

Here are my top three examples.

1. When they don’t want to do something

Serious and on his iPad - not at all wanting breakfast.

Serious and on his iPad – not at all wanting breakfast.

Me: “Come on boys, time to get naked and in the bath!”

Them: “Yes…just a second…I’ve just got to finish my work”

Me: “Come on, you can carry on tomorrow – pause what you’re doing…”

Them: “Yes, when I’ve finished – it’s really rather important, I just…I just need to press save!”

Note to self. Don’t work when kids are at home.

2. When I’ve told them off.

I'm a disappointment - telling him not to go behind the bed he's now stuck behind.

I’m a disappointment – telling him not to go behind the bed he’s now stuck behind.

Me: “Now, hitting and kicking is not acceptable behaviour is it?”

Them: “You’ve really disappointed me mummy. You need to learn to breath it out otherwise you’ll spend your life on the calming down chair.”

 3. When they hear things you don’t realise.

Harry Styles can TOTES pull this off though. Because, like, it's water (and he's hot).

Harry Styles can TOTES pull this off though. Because, like, it’s water (and he’s hot).

Sometimes I say things out-loud without meaning too.  I’ve worked hard to curb my language in front of the boys (although I have explained to them that calling daddy a bloody idiot is perfectly acceptable after he claims he “must have picked up a bug” after a night out). Those things I say out-loud, often I think I’ve said them quietly, under my breath, where only I can hear. However, both children have ears of steel (is that even a phrase?) they hear everything.

Therefore, when in the past, I have perhaps referred to a man walking down the street with a can of beer as a “stupid chav” I have always thought I’ve been out of ear shot.

Apparently I haven’t. Because the other day – you know the one hot day of the year, the one that wasn’t really hot, just tepid – we were walking down the street and The Beast said loudly “look at that stupid chav walking down the street with a can in his  hand mummy – what a chav.”

I may have wanted to sink into the pavement, as the youth (YOUTH HOW OLD AM I?) and his can of Red Bull turned to glare at us…but secretly I was kinda proud I’ve imparted wisdom.

What about you? Have your kids repeated you? I know that ButWhyMummyWhy and I has had a similar thing happening, because in a last minute “let’s compare posts” frenzy, we realised our topics were scarily similar – she just does it better – so please tell us it’s not just us?!

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This is a co-hosted linky, this month I’m lucky enough to host it (because last month I was naughty and on holiday). I’m passing the baton to  Katie at Hurrah For Gin, then she will hand over to But Why Mummy Why and t Not Another Mummy Blog. Make sure you check them all out as it’s also a blog hop (have you got all that, because I have had a few glasses of wine.)

I hope you enjoy all our posts and join in this month, and next month when Katie hosts!

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11 Responses to When you’re part of the Bad Mums Club – I can hear myself.

  1. Oh this did make me chuckle! “Yes…just a second…I’ve just got to finish my work” is priceless. I recently said “Uhhh Graaace!” and she looked at me and said “Uhhh Mumeeeee!” Oops.

  2. lifeatthelittlewood

    Oh hilarious!! This really made me giggle Aimee – particularly the chav comment (I call them ‘youths’ too – when did we get so OLD?!) xx

  3. Ha ha this was great. H is constantly trying to “do a little bit of work” at home as he constantly sees me on a computer. #badmumsclub

  4. My oldest has selective hearing except when its something we don’t want him to hear, in which case he turns into a parrot! Love the chavs comment that’s hilarious, F is always asking why women why they have beards and stuff like that :-/ great post Aimee!
    p.s i was just catching up on your blog and am so excited about your book – amazing! My life’s ambition is to write a book but i have no patience or stamina for it so i am in awe of anyone that does. Looking forward to reading it xx

  5. I don’t know what’s made me laugh more – the fact that your son called him a chav, or the fact that you’ve referred to him as a ‘youth’ – I do that, too! Yep, my daughter pays attention to everything, so will often repeat things I really didn’t mean for her to hear, especially when I’m driving 😉

  6. Pingback: Love the little things, week 19 | butwhymummywhy

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