Two and a half years ago, my mum was diagnosed with cancer, and six months ago today she died. Since then, I’ve been dealing with all the things that come with grief. Some of it I expected, sadness, numbness, anger, confusion. But the bit I didn’t expect was clarity, or feeling like I’ve regained some control of my life.
In between the juggle of hospital appointments, family, and life, I wrote a book. Then I rewrote it, then I rewrote it a few more times then my agent sent it out to editors. I got a load of rejections, a maybe, rewrote it again, and another rejection. I took it hard, probably harder than I would have done if I hadn’t been so desperate to get a traditional book deal while my mum was still around to see it.
But once I got over it (pizza and booze and signing up to a half marathon that thankfully got cancelled – pizza and booze happened more than running), I actually began to see that the first submission via my agent was a positive experience. NO REALLY. I think it might have been what kept me going, gave me something else to focus on.
Because the book wasn’t right, I know that now. But what it was, was a brilliant learning curve. Not just learning how to deal with rejection, something that unfortunately all writers have to deal with, frequently – and I’ve since learnt from some amazing blogs, no matter what level of your career, but so many other things, and as a writer it was probably the best thing to happen to me.
Which takes me back to the blogging side of things. Blogging has changed since I started. I was never what you would call a proper blogger, I’m a story teller, and that’s a totally different set of skills. So I figure, the best thing to write about is what I know about, so I’m going to use this space to write about writing. About how I love it, good days, bad days, feeling brilliant, imposter syndrome, big word days and short word days. What happens after you’ve written ‘the end’ and all that other stuff.
So, that’s it. YAY!
My first blog post in about two years, and for the first time in a long time, I’m super excited to be writing stuff like this.