It’s been more then a week since I started cutting back and trying to respect myself a bit more, and do you know what? I actually do feel good.
I feel light, I feel calm, I feel relaxed. The things that normally bother me, that get me down, well, they’re not. I still have the initial impact of negativity, the slump of the shoulders, the sulking, the reflex to go shopping, but somehow I’m shaking my shoulders and holding my head high. I don’t feel so beaten down.
I look in the mirror, and my skin seems to be improving, and considering the insomnia is still here, I don’t look as exhausted as usual. I’ve lost 2lbs and 1.5inches from my wobbly belly, my make up is staying on longer and I have a bounce in my step. Plus, there are areas of improvement which are not fit to blog about.
I know, it sounds like an over chirpy promotion to quit drinking doesn’t it? It’s not all plain sailing. It’s breaking a habit, one which has been instilled in me for years. Like I say, I can’t sleep, my mind is buzzing, my body aching in a way that shows it still needs to wind down. If I’m asleep before 2am right now I’m lucky. But I still feel better then when I woke up after an alcohol induced sleep.
I’m still short tempered, and after a full day with the children I still could murder a
few gins and a bottle of wine stiff drink, and perhaps I’m supplementing booze with Malteasers.
Now it’s Friday night, the children were wild, I’ve had a hectic week, and I’m so tempted to more than a couple of glasses of wine to celebrate the long weekend and go along side my curry (Rogan if anybody is interested) but feel surprisingly guilty.
One day at a time.
P.S. I went for that run – 2.25m in 21mins not amazing, but a start.