Aimee Horton

Blue Monday? Blue Month.


January is getting on my wick.  It arrived to a soundtrack of coughing, it’s been set to a backdrop of dirty brown snow and it’s still not got to any sort of plot line.   Just around the corner lies a new job, a different department, plans, holidays, trips, adventures!  But at the moment I’m in limbo, just…waiting.  2013 is looking rosy but this wretched month just won’t quit.


Last week I proclaimed New Year’s promise as false advertising.  The clock strikes midnight & the happy, shiny, sugar coated life you ordered doesn’t just land in your lap (rude).  So instead, I reminisced, cuddling up to 2012 as I wasn’t quite ready to let it go.  Alas, I’m now stuck in New Year purgatory, happily waving a fond farewell to last year and patiently waiting for the new one to strut its stuff.  I am ready for changes to be rung, horns to be grabbed and pay day to arrive.  I need something to look forward to.  We all need something to look forward to, so rather than spending the month seething that it’s still not over, I’m making plans.


At the beginning of next month I will pop out of my existing web chrysalis and unveil my spangly new ‘Internet Marketing Consultant’ wings.  Exciting stuff.  I shall start the year (January Shmanuary) with a swagger in my step and a CONSULTANT after my name.  I’m practically a doctor.


Not only will my shiny new role in a glossy new department undoubtedly make February a goodun, something more spectacular is afoot.  I’m only going to go and see The Lion King!  I am a big fan of musicals, BIG fan.  Sing me a show tune, dress me in a dreamcoat and I am on board.  And after years of hakuna matata yearning, the tickets are booked and I just can’t wait to be king.   Queen.  Whatever.


Whilst in LDN, I shall be visiting The O2.  And when I say visiting, I mean climbing over.  Yuhuh, I will be clad in arse widening blue overalls and trot across the top of the dome.  Knee wobbling nerves will be worth breath taking 360 views of the city (I hope).


‘CHRIST I’M HIGH UP’ jelly legs might attack once again when I’m whizzing around The London Eye.  Now, I’ve done The Eye before and there’s no whizzing involved, more’s the pity.  If there were, I would be back on the ground after a whistle stop city glance rather than a sluggish meander in the sky.  Last time I Eyed, horizontal rain was battering the capsule giving it a gentle wobble in the ‘breeze’.  Fingers, legs and eyes crossed that joyous little extra will not be a repeat offender.


It is highly likely that one day soon I will be Mrs Buble.  Yes, I am happily ensconced in domestic blissdom with man of dreams and the Buble is hitched to a beautiful Argentinean model.  Nonetheless, a medium once told me that I will marry a man much older than me, of a different nationality, from non-European country.  Careful consideration and rational thought led me to conclude that he was undoubtedly talking about Michael Buble. (I resolutely refuse to acknowledge the fact that he could actually have been referring to my beloved who on more than one occasion has been mistaken for a middle aged man from the Orient).  ANYWAY, the fact that I am going to the O2 once again to see the Buble in action backs up my theory quite nicely.


New year, New York.  I have always, always, ALWAYS wanted to go to New York and this year my big, apple shaped dreams will be answered.  I absolutely cannot wait.


With eleven months stretching out in front of us, I’m pretty darn excited about the possibilities that lie ahead.  I’ve happily plotted some events on the calendar and it’s amazing what a boost a musical and a holiday can give you.  I’m positive that this year will be a good one and already it has the potential to gazump the last one.  Spontaneity is amazing but we all need a highlight on the horizon to keep us going in deepest, darkest, depressing January.  What plans do you have to make 2013 amazing?  Where are you going?  What are you doing?  Which Canadian crooners will you be capturing?  Whatever, wherever, whoever you’re doing, let this year be the best yet.



When it’s Christmas.


I know I’m not renowned for my soppy posts, but ’tis the time of year and all that malarkey.  Christmas has been magic.  Last year was lovely because it was Fatso’s first Christmas and The Beast loved all the presents, but this year, this was AH-MAZE-ING (bar of course the stuff I’m not allowed to talk about as I’m the bad guy)

First the Santa visit went well, then we had a lovely Christmas eve with the Outlaws side of the family, and once they’d all gone, we – as the tradition is in our house – opened our gifts.  I did well. I’d been a good girl.  Then I do believe I MAY have passed out on the sofa and had to be physically dragged and thrown into bed at midnight.  I swear (quoting FRIENDS) it was the pressure of entertaining! 😉


06.30am.  Cool Uncle John was already awake and messaging requests for photos of the kids, I was lying in bed with the feeling I always get when presents are involved.  I was also slightly amazed that I was THAT excited when it wasn’t a present for me.  NONE of the presents under the tree were going to work for me (except for the Lego), but I was hugely hyper.

06.45am – Still no sign of the boys.

07.00am – I’m up, turning on the lights, making a cup of tea, generally banging about.

0.715am – Fatso wakes up (HE NEVER DOES THIS WHEN I WANT HIM TO SLEEP).  Bottle and cuddles.

07.30am – I stomp upstairs and wake The Beast.  Instantly I’ve failed him because his response when I tell him Santa has been was “he’s here?!” and looked genuinely gutted when I said he’s left presents but carried on.

07.45am – He opens his big Buzz Lightyear – I cry.

08.15am – All Santa presents are open and we make a quick breakfast stop before the final tree presents.

09.ooam – I get out of the shower to be caught by a small child saying “OI OI MUMMAY – YOU READY FOR A SONG?” (I wasn’t but this fell into his selective hearing barrier) Thanks Uncle John.

By 11.00am we were on the road to the next part of our Christmas.  We have an amazing day where the boys were good, doted on and behaved in a way that made me proud.  The Beast showed everyone his “faverut” toys and didn’t shut up, Fatso ate most of the turkey and anything else that dared pass in front of him and loved his audience.

Now we are back at home and every day The Beast is asking when his next presents are coming, they’ve also spent the last few days floundering around the lounge with an attention span of 5 minutes (max) per toy.

I have been and swapped presents, I have bought a mass of storage, and I’ve cooked 3 things out of my cook books and been for a run in preparation for my New Years resolutions (be a size 0 by March, don’t bite my nails, become a Millionaire by June), and we are now, as the song would say back to life, back to reality.

We have the Pantomime, then New Years to look forward to at the weekend, then the outlaws are away for a month (not that this pleases me), and I have SO MUCH to tell you, including my thoughts on the Tooth Fairy, Tantrums, Big Boys Beds, being suffocated and School.  BET YOU’RE AT THE EDGE OF YOUR SEATS.

Merry Christmas guys x