I’m so excited!! And no, it’s not just because it’s January and it’s the first official post of #WriteThinking, or the fact that next week our guest author is the amazing Kerry Barrett.
Although both of those are giving me butterflies, they’re not the reason that my fingers are twitchy and I am buzzing for tomorrow morning when the kids are back at school.
I’m excited because I have the buzz again. Last year my mind was very much focused on getting all the books from The Survival Series edited and out and when it came to sitting down and writing the next book, I just couldn’t. I felt like a fraud.
Oh I tried. I got enthusiastic, I plotted outlines, and I sat for hours at my computer. But it was trash. My mind wasn’t in it, my word count rewards weren’t working (and if treacle tart and a cup of tea aren’t working we all know something is wrong) and my confidence was at an all-new low. To explain how bad it got, between September and December, I chose ironing over writing.
Then, I like to think a Christmas miracle happened.
On the same day that I had another lovely review and tweet from a total stranger, the idea of #WriteThinking appeared as if from nowhere – and even better, when I started approaching people to take part THEY SAID YES.
All of a sudden, I came out of the other side. I had an idea, an outline starting to build in my head, one that I believed in, not one that was forced, and I suddenly believed that I could do it.
After having what some people would refer to as writers block, self-belief is an amazing feeling.
I’m not sure if I had actual writers block, I’m not sure if it even exists, but I do think my confidence impacts what I write hugely. That knot every time I see a book review tweet my book, or the number of reviews on amazon increase, tightened and the nauseous feeling was very much there. This time around it felt a lot more real. After all, real life strangers who review because they want to, not because they know me, were giving their opinions.
So maybe that’s what’s changed, as real life strangers liked my work, or most of them did, my confidence grew.
So now I have the buzz.
I’m twitchy, I’m typing random emails to myself when I’m sitting outside a guitar lesson, or scribbling a note in my diary. I’m sitting at my computer zoning out the Angry Birds theme tune, and hiding in the loo to avoid any Minecraft Mod questions (LIKE I CAN HELP WITH THAT?) while I tap into my phone, and I have actual word count and draft deadlines written in my actual diary.
It feels almost as good as when you open a new bottle of Henricks.
I’m not saying it will last forever, but after thinking I was done before I started (dramatic much) it’s a pretty good to know you can usually force your way through the fog and out the other side.
How about you, do you have slumps? How do you deal with them? Do you get the buzz when you suddenly feel the need to write again, or is that just me?