Aimee Horton



Things have been going FAAASSSTTT! Due to some technical wonderment (I like to think it was me being awesome, but we all know it was Amazon being speedy), Survival of the Ginnest was published on Tuesday 5th May. That’s right, you can now get a real life copy of Dottie and hold it in your hands!


Fellow blogger and downright lovely lady Steph is publishing a book soon, and I was lucky enough to get a sneaky peak.

Here’s the blurb > >

Years ago, Cassie loved Jesse. But he was the bass player in her favourite band and didn’t know she even existed. Now the band has broken up and she’s found him on Facebook, and after finally meeting in London, their relationship quickly intensifies and Cassie and Jesse find themselves in a long distance relationship spanning five thousand miles. 

But a misunderstanding tears them apart and as she tries to piece her life back together in London, Jesse is planning a way to win her back with the help of her best friend… and a ukulele.

I love the fact that talented people now have the opportunity to come out and publish their work, and I’m super excited for you guys that Steph is one of those guys. This book is funny, insightful, and really made me smile.  I’ll be posting a full review over on Amazon once it’s live!

Getting Over Jesse Franklin will be available from the Kindle Store from 18th May 2015!


Whilst I a still on my American Box Set addiction, and Mr Aimee and I are working our way through Bates Motel, what I’m currently loving are a few Britcoms (maybe this is because I’m stealing ideas for when somebody realises Dottie is totally sitcom worthy – PLEASE) so I’m currently laughing at these two…


The Delivery Man – ITV


A mixture between a smile and a grimace. Seriously though, between the stress and total body consuming nerves of you all hating Ginnest – I had a really lovely bank holiday weekend. The below picture I think shows how happy I was to have a day with my boys and my mum at the beach, mainly because it wasn’t peeing it down when I thought it would!

Screen Shot 2015-05-07 at 20.19.32

I even have bad hair and I don’t care. Although, my magic wonderful hairdresser will soon be fixing it all!


Teeth grinding. Mine.


…it through the day. Sounds dramatic, and it’s really not. But you know what it’s like when you’re busy? You run around like a headless chicken and finally collapse on the sofa/bed/in the wine cooler. Next week I’ll be better.

…and lastly

Thank you.

Thank you to everyone who has bought my book and photographed it over the last couple of days. Thank you to those who have reviewed it, thank you to those who are reading it right now, or have it on order, who have recommended it to a friend. Thank you for downloading my free short-short story.

You can buy Survival of the Ginnest over at or

Oh and for the full academy speech – click here!

This has been me joining in with my favourite linky over at But Why Mummy But Why. 


When you push the button.


That title makes me think that I should have been a Sugababe, I so could have been if I’d wanted.

ANYWAY. My book is live. Like really out there live. Like, I pressed the button last night and drank gin while I waited for it to confirm it was published this morning. I got the email at 01:27 – I was asleep at this point, but not for much longer as I started to dream it had been deleted.


When it’s meal time.


Meal times when you have toddlers and babies are a funny thing aren’t they? They are no longer the relaxing experience you’re used to before you decided to have a family. Although you become slightly more prepared when you’re pregnant and after two bites of a meal no longer fancy it and have to go through the embarrassment of either making your other half eat it for you, or dealing with a concerned looking waiter…after all, you’re pregnant therefore you should eat like a horse shouldn’t you?!

These days it’s all change. Right now we’re probably in my least enjoyable phase of family meal times I’ve ever had.  Before it as ok – as a baby and toddler Theo ate quite well (although rarely at Nan & Granddads’ due to the adoring audience and knowledge that he’ll get away with it to avoid a scene – this has since changed and he will now be sent to the hall). I’m not saying he was perfect (at all), but having been very strict with him from day one of the weaning process we generally had a child who sat at the table until we finished, ate what was put in front of him, fed himself by the age of one (CLEANLY) etc…except that one phase where when he’d had enough he’d push his plate across the table and it would often go spinning across the room and land on the floor. Or the phase where he wouldn’t eat finger food. Oh.

Then Larry came along. Gorgeous fat, attention grabbing little (big) brother Larry. Suddenly he didn’t eat his dinner anymore. I was prepared for this – I’d read the books and the forums, and I ignored it, and soon he realised no dinner no pudding. Bish Bash Bosh. Then we started weaning Fatso. No problems with that (well, you didn’t expect there to be did you – he laps everything up). However mealtimes are now timed almost to the minute as Fatty is on an alarm clock run by food (11.50am – fine and happy, 11.55am – a bit clingy – 12.00pm – WHERE THE CHUFF IS MY FOOD?! kind of thing), therefore, no longer can we wander around a town looking in the window deciding where to eat at the last minute, we have to have a good idea and then when you hear the war cry it’s GO GO GO.   If we’re having to wait a bit for the food to come, it’s often helpful to be next to a table where somebody takes pity on the wasting away baby as he Paddington Bear stares them out until they get nervous and give him a chip (true story).  As far as the beast goes, as long as there’s a last resort of a Burger on the menu and a glass of water in a “big boys
glass” we’re ok. He probably won’t eat it anyway.

Whatever happens, no matter where we decide to eat and what I decide to serve up/order I usually get a handpicked selection of at least 3 of the below every mealtime.

From Theodore (you can tell I’m grumpy, I’ve used his big name)

  • All food must be served on a “big boy”
    plate (one of our side plate), and he must have an adult knife and fork. We
    can’t even get away with the small adult replica cutlery that you can buy. No.
    He needs a fork that appears to be longer than his arm.
  • All Cereal must be eaten with a soup spoon
  • “I don’t LYYYKEEEE that” before it’s even been placed in front of him, and then repeated randomly throughout the meal between mouthfuls.
  • “I’m TOO BUSY” to eat my dinner
  • “IN A MINIT MUMMY – be patient”
  • “I’M TOO TIREEEDDD” to eat my dinner
  • “I’m all full up to eat my dinner – I’ll have pudding now”
  • “YESPLEASE Get down from the table
    MUMMAY” (polite, but not when he’s got a tomato in one hand and a grated
    cheese sandwich in the other).
  • Slipping down in the chair so he’s under the table – it’s the cushions fault dontcha know.
  • “OOOH I NEED A WEE” (“come with me”)
  • “OOOHH I NEED A POOH” (“come and watch me”)

From Lawrence

  • General shouting until the bowl is brought to the table
  • If I let him hold the bowl it goes on his head
  • Alternating Spoons. He’d never just “hold” a spoon while I fed him, or if he did it was only for a very brief moment in time. I’ve tried loading the spoon and handing it to him, but this is refused. He wants to SCOOP. So now I either have to hold his hand while he scoops, or let him do it himself. You know me enough by now to know my nerves can’t stand that. I’m envious and in awe of anybody who knows where to begin clearing that car crash up!
  • When I give him a sandwich he refuses to eat it until Theo is sitting and eating his sandwich. While he’s waiting for that to happen it just gets shouted at.
  • When he’s had enough of his food he’ll pick it up and drop it on the floor
  • He has to have a different coloured spoon and a look in the bowl when it’s pudding time because he doesn’t trust me not to trick him.

Sounds fun doesn’t it? It’s not AWFUL actually, I always quite enjoy breakfast (as long as I have my slippers on as I hate weetabix between my toes), however I am looking forward to not having a blob of jam land in my cup of tea, not having to cut up my meal first and eat with just my fork or avoid a blueberry being sneezed into my hair. I’m hopping one day that I can eat a meal again without having to have it done FAST and whilst not having to field grabby hands away from my glass of wine. I’m also looking forward to being able to wear a white t.shirt. When does that
happen again?

Right. We’re going out for Sunday lunch. Yay.